When “Success” Costs You Yourself
What I learned after getting everything I thought I wanted
Years ago, I picked up a book called Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers.
I remember thinking, “Oh yeah, this is really going to help me.” And yes, it offered great ideas—along with a long list of things I thought I needed to “fix” about myself to succeed.
I was the classic “nice girl.”
Polite. Pleasant. High‑performing.
The woman who smiled through chaos and still delivered the quarterly report.
And I did get the corner office. I became a Director in the Canadian Federal Government. But here’s what I learned: you can win the game and still lose yourself.
Somewhere between the meetings, the metrics, and the mask I wore to fit the role, my focus narrowed. I stopped asking the essential questions:
Why do I want this? Is it actually mine—or just what I think I’m supposed to want?
I climbed the ladder so diligently that I didn’t notice there was nothing at the top for me. That forgetting—that was the real sabotage.
Today, my definition of success is radically simpler and far truer:
It’s remembering what matters. It’s pausing, noticing, and asking—Is this right for me?
When I stopped contorting myself to fit a life that didn’t fit, I felt more relaxed, more peaceful and freer. That’s a corner worth claiming.
